Halloween Special!

me:  new version is uploading
   almost done
   it's way better
Christopher:  teehee! I'm psyched
   and also dressed as Indiana Jones at work
me:  yesssss
Christopher:  'tis a good day
me:  best day ever
   I just had a great poop
Christopher:  JEALOUS

And with that, I present to you, the 2012 Funny Shorts Halloween Special:



Bucket of Eyes

Hey Reddit

Hey Reddit.  Thanks for checking out our site, even though I spelled "sleight" wrong.  You're all true pals.  Picture of a cat. Meme.  Am I doing this right

So I was the first person to dial into the conference call for work...

me:  I am rocking out to this conference call hold music right now
Marissa:  oh dang, none of us are even in the conference room yet
me:  it's like I'm in an 80s porn
so much wah guitar
Marissa:  but geoff, you arrrreeee in an 80s porn
me:  waaaaaaaaa

New Update Thursday! Another Nosetradamus Sequel for Some Reason!

Bet nobody ever expected there to be ONE MORE OF THESE!!!!!



Nosetradamus IV - The Burger Sneasoning

Here's an amusing chat CJ and I just had:

Christopher: here's an amusing chat Fras and I just had:

me:  How about that fire drill?
Chris:  did you leave during the fire drill
me:  whoa
did we just message each other about the fire drill at the exact same random moment?
Chris:  yeesssssss....
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
me:  I'M TRYING! I CANT FIND THE DOOR!
Chris:  go left!
me:  YOUR LEFT OR MY LEFT?!
OH WAIT THEY'RE THE SAME
Chris:  just follow the sound of my voice!
me:  Its coming from EVERYWHERE
Chris:  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
me:  Quick, get a bright idea so I can see
Chris:  that's gonna be rough, all I want to do is close my eyes.  It gets dark then
me:  We're basically acting out InnerSpace via gchat

New Update Thursday: End of Days!

Hey guys, Geoff here.

Can you believe it's been almost a YEAR since we've posted an update?  In fact, our last update was on my BIRTHDAY, a year ago?  Can you believe it's been so long?

Us either.

Help me celebrate my birthday (a month early) by joining us for NEW, SLIGHTLY MORE REGULAR updates!!  Starting with this one:

End of Days

WE'RE BACK, BABY!  With gusto.



<4 Geoff

21 Jump Street

Chris: apparently the directors of 21 jump street snuck in a clone high joke at the end of the movie
http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Interview-21-Jump-Street-Directors-Clone-High-Joke-They-Snuck-Movie-30002.html

me: yeah!
cause it's the same guys!
also written by micheal bacall? I think we figured this out the other day but then I forgot and figured it out again yesterday

Chris: dude, this movie is shaping up to be good
and CJ loves it already
I mean he saw it, and loved it

me: yeah
all those guys are hilarious
I was gonna go see it yesterday until I realized it wasn't out yet

Chris: haha
that helps

me: but it's out TODAY!

Chris: HOLY. 
MoTHER
FUCKING.
SHIT
BALLS
SNACKS
SANDWICH

me: I think you're underreacting

Chris: agreed
HHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG 
SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
BBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WITH
A
PICKLE
ON TOP
better?

me: slow day at work?

Chris: eh. my boss is sleeping in his car cuz he's high on vicadin
due to dental surgery

Scissors.

It's funny cause it's true

me: you're on the front page of funny or die
Christopher: sick!
It's about time, I mean, since the public saw me sneeze they've been clamoring for another bodily-fluid related appearance
me: aint that the truth
Christopher: I think we should do a short of us just puking next. Give them what they want, right?
me: haven't we already done that?
Christopher: oh yeah!
uh oh...
...
that only leaves shitting
...
me: ...haven't we already done that?
Christopher: lol did we?
me: appwipe?
Christopher: :o
we have covered every excrement
me: I think jizzing pretty much completed the list, yeah
Christopher: time to retire?
me: I think that time has come and gone

Happy New Year!

crazieapril3: hey :)
me: hi?
crazieapril3: hey i've been sitting around sooo bored and figured i'd say helllo... hope i didn't bother u
theres like no one around to talk to anymore.... 27/female here how bout u?
me: 31/male
do I know you?
crazieapril3: ah cool so what's up????
me: nothin much
just sittin around naked
got any pics?
crazieapril3: lts so lame on here now i can't stand it
me: ARE YOU A ROBOT
crazieapril3: well l have an idea if u wanna have sum fun!!! i was gonna get on my cam and "unwind" a lil u should cum join ;)
i found this sweet sitethat is just like facebook but without the annoying kids... wanna check it out????
me: sorry, I have a strict 'no fatties' policy
BURN
crazieapril3: it only takes asecond to signup and it's 110% free 2!!! http://twurl.nl/cdytpo just click the 'join Free' at the top of thepage
once you signup u'll be allgood and u can join my private chat and tell me what 2 do ;)
me: 110% free would actually mean that you give me money
crazieapril3: yea you do need a card of sum kind but they wiII Not charge u a thing!!!!!!
me: I'm only into chicks that poop themselves
will you poop yourself for me??
crazieapril3: i cant wait this is going to be sooo much fun.. wait till u see what i'm wearing right now lol i think u'll like it;)
me: WHY, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!!!!
crazieapril3: are u in hun??? i'm going to go get some "toys" but ill brb and hopefully u'll be in when i get back hurry uppp
me: why is "toys" in quotes there



...she never answered.  Happy new year.